Okay, I'll admit it on behalf of my nation: The Philippines could not care less about healthy cuisine, and this sweet take on an otherwise veggie-centric dish (one of the only green dishes in the land) proves it. Sorry we're not sorry.

Growing up, the avocado milkshake was no stranger to my table. Even after we came to America, we never really ventured out for milkshakes anywhere else. My mom would blended them on weekends, when she was home and wanted to unwind from working three jobs with the reminder that life was once much easier, or at least less seasonal. She made them so much that I swore off avocados for years, only to find my way back when I finally had one without the frappes.

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In America, we prefer our avocado in saltier, spicier, more sour dishes. We see it on sandwiches and in guacamole, covered in soy sauce on our sushi or eaten naked, with just a little salt. We never, ever get to see what sweetness brings out in it, and this dish does exactly that.

1. Pick your avocados.

You'll want to choose three from your local supermarket. Unfortunately, your local supermarket will put out the ripe avocados with the under-ripe avocados with the over-ripe avocados, so you need to know how to pick them before you bring them home.

The perfectly ripe avocado will be soft, but not too soft. This is maybe the most annoying thing you can tell anyone choosing produce for the first time. Pick up an avocado and squeeze it just so. If you can get your fingers an eighth-to-a-fourth of an inch in before you meet some resistance, that's a good one. I like mine on the softer side for this, so don't be afraid to go for one that's nice and soft.

Too soft is disgusting. It'll feel like mud in your hands when you squeeze. It'll also be the ones that the flies in the store like the most.

Too hard is equally disgusting. Flavorless, tough, and just as obvious to pick out. If you get one like this, wrap it in a newspaper and store it in a brown bag, room temperature, overnight. It will be perfect the next day.

2. Blend 'em.

In your blender, combine 3 avocados, two trays of ice cubes or four cups of crushed ice, 1 cup sweetened condensed milk, and 1 1/2 cup of half-and-half. Blend. Taste. Add whatever you feel is necessary.

3. Serve.

If you're feeling decadent, top it with vanilla ice cream. If you're not committing carnal sins, top with a handful of your favorite unsweetened puffed rice cereal and a slight drizzle of honey.

Enjoy island decadence.