Every so often, the universe throws us a bone. Fortunately for us, this bone has some meat on it. And chocolate chips.

Unless you've been living under a rock or off the G-Train, you've probably heard Canadian Idol winner and bad car washer Carly Rae Jepsen's earworm "Call Me Maybe," a chronologically challenging tale of love and loss. You've also probably had an encounter with one its many parodies which range in quality from the sublime to the unapologetically low-brow. And let's not forget that it was a parody of her song done with equal parts affection and derision that put Ms. Jepsen on the viral map in the first place.

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But in the midst of all this Web 3.0 celebrity posturing, who would've guessed that Cookie Monster would have the final say?

I don't know where to begin. The last time people who don't watch Sesame Street heard from Cookie Monster, he'd sworn off cookies in favor of healthier options like fruits and vegetables. Cookies were now a "sometimes food." As I understood the reasoning behind this big shift, the showrunners sought to use Cookie Monster to set a good example to all the young children who looked up to the blue puppet as their role model.

What, then, do we make of this humorlessrelapse into addiction?

There is evidence of a sort of health-food mindedness to our hero. After all, in the song's bridge, he invites the object of his envy to join him in "[getting] skim milk flowing." Unfortunately, the virtuous buck stops there. Someone must have given Mr. Monster a free first cookie, and now he's jonesing for more.

Now, here's the interesting thing here: we don't see anyone actually eating cookies until Cookie Monster eats them at the end. In this Post-Night Shyamalan world, we have no choice but to question the existence of said cookies, and look for clues that this may all be some kind of awful fever dream. This could be a very powerful metaphor for vice and decadence, or just another example of what happens to a TV show when the letter "M" pulls out its sponsorship.

Regardless of what the truth of the matter may be, one thing is immediately indisputable: our pity for Cookie. I bet Monster didn't think he'd be encountering so many of his favorite treat in the corporate workplace through which he sought to reintegrate into society as a healthy, happy, and sober individual. But something's happening here-- there's an intern who appears to be xeroxing a cookie; there's a board room meeting where there's a big, red bowl of cookies and everyone seems to be refraining from eating them in favor of the healthier options around them. I do not know what I would do in his shoes.

In summation, "Share Me, Maybe" is a poignant and harrowing tale of addiction and destruction in the high-stakes world of corporate America. It's better than Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.That may seem like faint praise, and it is.