From the people who brought you The Ultimate Thinking Man's Guide to the Burger King Bacon Sundae comes something unapologetically low-brow: Burger King's new menu of promotional items.

What makes this menu so special? It's not like these products are anything terribly new or novel-- in fact, most of the stuff on it could have been made with the stuff already present in the fast food chain's meager kitchens-- rather, it's the fact that everything on the menu is so unbelievably cheap, even people who eat fast food regularly will be raising their eyebrows.

Follow Us

How cheap is cheap? For one thing, you'll be able to get their vanilla soft serve in either a cup or a cone for fifty cents. Sure, it sounds like a good deal, but then you remember that paying anything more than fifty cents for Burger King's ice cream was already criminal in-and-of-itself.

Some will probably read this and be surprised that Burger King even had soft serve. When it comes to that game, McDonald's and especially Wendy's leave the fast food monarch in the dust.

However, the real star of Burger King's new promotional menu is their dollar bacon burger, which marks the first time that a regular-sized burger that isn't skimping on how much bacon is on it is being offered at that price point on a national scale, provided the small scale test goes well.

They are, however, not the first chain to fudge around with the burger-to-bacon ratio, or offer a cheap bacon option as an alternative to their larger, more excessive sandwiches. Wendy's has been testing a new burger they're building as the son of the Baconator.

For the record, I don't like the idea of a burger having a son as much as you do. I don't like what that says about American families.

Now, if you thought that Burger King was going to be adding the bacon sundae to their promotional menu in an attempt to indoctrinate new fans into its church, you may have to think again. And get creative. If you order the vanilla soft serve for fifty cents, and the bacon burger for a buck, then just combine the bacon from the burger with the soft serve, you can make a Poor Man's Poor Man's Bacon Sundae for half the price.

It's maybe not the most glamorous thing you can do, but hey, it's a recession. We won't tell.