Like Gummi Bears But Wish They Burned Your Tongue Off? Evil Hot Gummi Bears to the Rescue

August 21, 2012 7:49 AM EDT | By Anthony Smith
Evil Hot Gummies
These Evil Hot Gummies are the perfect blend of sweet, spicy, and tangy. (Photo: Firebox)

Our favorite of the broad flavor combinations, and perhaps the least explored this side of the equator, is the intersection of sweet, spicy, and acidic. We don't mean this in a way that diminishes one in favor of the other, like it does in Mike's Red Hots and other similar hot cinnamon candies. We're looking for full-bodied notes from all three that do each other justice and put your tongue through an ecstasy so sublime, it seems like gustatory agony.

If only cinnamon red hots had a little bit of acidity to them, they wouldn't be so slight. You'd even see them show up in more cooking. For now, they've mostly been relegated to the extra clever baked apple recipe, like the kind your favorite food journal will be providing you come Fall. All it would take is the smallest splash of sour and we'd be eating Mike's Red Hots all the time.

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Till then, though, we have some gummy bears. And not just any gummy bears: satanic ones.

Enter the Satan's Spawn! Evil Hot Gummi Bears from Firebox. Through their tagline, they boast that they've got the devil in 'em. If the devil's as delicious as these bears, then maybe we've been praying to the wrong God.

We were afraid the bears were going to be similar to shots of hot sauce delivered in form of nature's cuddliest killing machine. We couldn't have been more wrong, or more fortunate. These bears kick some serious butt.

What's their secret? It's all in the balance of ingredients. A slightly more complicated simple syrup rendered from habanero comes front and center in this dish. It's what gives each bear the most wonderful burn. In fact, just the habanero and some sugar wouldn't have been the most wrong-headed approach to doing this. After all, the Warhead candy which was basically just citrus and acid burning a hole through your tongue was similarly ham-fisted and similarly satisfying.

What elevates this candy into the space of the moderate-to-high culinary is how well the confectioners behind them mind their fruits. Each member of the trio of grape, apple, and apricots used here carries the melody admirably. They provide a backbone against the spice that not only tempers the heat but harkens back to our childhood, when candies were sweet and that was that.

In short, every candy is pretty satisfying, even if it doesn't end up leaving a lasting impression. These bears will burn a hole on your tongue as they find a place in your heart. You can pick up an order of them here.

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